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“Oh no, Gumby! I don’t think those dinosaurs are friendly! What’ll we do now?” –Susan

I can see why this movie needed to be remade.

Although we all know the story of King Kong, few of us had ever seen the movie until Peter Jackson’s Oscar nominated remake. Eventually, the giant ape would have just faded from the collective consciousness and that would be sad. You can’t expect children, with the kind of graphics technology we have today in our video games, to be entertained by what seems like 3 hours of black and white claymation (not including the “overture”). The only thing sadder than losing the monkey altogether, would be keeping the memory of the monkey alive based on the 1933 version.

Some of the dinosaurs, the T-Rex especially, move pretty smoothly; but what’s up with the monkey’s face? Botox? Seriously. You have to see this monkey’s face. It’s ridiculous.
I mean, this is from 1933 and I can’t imagine the man hours it must have taken to claymate that dinosaur fight… so I’m not saying it’s a bad movie–just clearly it was due for a remake.

Then there’s the Chinese guy and all the talk about black face…
hmmm.

What you really want to see this movie for is the 1930’s NYC skyline shots! And the part where the monkey slowly peels off all her clothing. Was that in the remake? Pervy monkey! Then, get this, I am NOT making this up. The monkey pokes her in the general tummy region a few times and then smells his fingers! HE SMELLS HIS FINGERS. You think I’m exaggerating, or that he just kind of wipes his nose or something… no. He holds up two fingers, leans in, and his nostrils flare and then he does it again.

“Poignant. A moving tale of patriotism, familial love, and the enduring spirit of hope.” –Susan

Jay Chandrasekhar directs Broken Lizard’s latest masterpiece, a powerful depiction of rural youth struggling to find identity and a connection to place. This ultimately uplifting film demonstrates the heartbreaking perserverance and improbable optimism of a people living in a country in turmoil. Rejected by the rest of the world for their global ignorance and sins of their government, these Americans band together with a tremendous commitment and demonstrate the work ethic that established their young nation as a powerful force at the international table.

Beerfest is a touching look at why people in distant lands we don’t know much about, and care even less, still admire and envy Americans. This is truly the kind of story every American needs to hear right now.

“I went for the conjoined twin fight and stayed for the siamese sponge bath” –Susan

Like Snakes on a Plane, this movie gives you two of everything you want, but unlike Snakes on a Plane, it does not give %110. No, this movie prefers to remain subtle enough as to seem like an actual documentary. I went for the conjoined twin fight and stayed for the siamese sponge bath, however, you may go for the complicated psychological study or highbrow mockumentary humor. Don’t go for the conjoined twin fight as your imagination is probably much funnier than the footage in this film.

This film is a little dark. Not as dark as Geek Love, but if you liked Geek Love, this movie is worth your time. There’s no horses in this movie.

You may also go for the punk mock soundtrack. You can hear such gems as Two Way Romeo and Doola & Dowla (which is an ode to the imaginary friends that live in their sister’s shoes).

That’s it! I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!

Bring it!

What you like to see in a snakes on a plane movie? Whatever it is, this movie’s got TWO! They really put 110% into this movie. But Kai pointed out that they did leave out one thing… flashing red font “SNAKE CAM”, “SNAKE CAM”. How could they have missed that?

Bubble is a dark, fascinating study of the small-town experience. This minimalist experimental film, directed by Steven Soderbergh, follows the struggles of three doll-factory employees to escape or make peace with their cloistered environment and limited opportunities. When a newcomer arrives and threatens to disrupt comfortable routines and relationships with her bold ideas and ambition, tragedy results. The acting is stunningly authentic and understated, as many (if not all) of the actors are real people who actually live in the small town in which the movie is filmed. Quiet and poignant, this movie leaves you with the melancholy feeling of witnessing a sad, oppressive truth. Fortunately, this film is also quite short, leaving you plenty of time to wash away your sorrows with an episode of Scrubs or other delights.
Laura’s grade: B+