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Awful awful story!!! Ok, so generally the book is well written, but, GAH, it’s so bleak and depressing and dismal. Some books are depressing, but you feel moved by them–transported, expanded, changed–books like The Kite Runner. Not so for House of Sand and Fog. No, in this book, we have 3 main characters (plus two supporting characters) who are all flawed and unlikeable. Kathy is a jilted recovering drug addict/alcoholic who loses her house to the county because they mistakenly think she hasn’t paid her taxes. The house is sold for pennies to Colonel Behrani, a once-rich and powerful Iranian who had to flee his country with his family and is now stuck working as a highway trash collector. He sees this house as his chance to get into real estate and finally regain his family’s status and his personal pride. Les is the dumb-ass cop who evicts Kathy and then suddenly and inexplicably falls into passionate lust with her and has sex with her all the time and thinks he’s found some kind of new freedom, when really he’s just a big putz who is not man enough to tell his wife and kids that he’s a big putz.

They are each in bad places in their lives, and they don’t take a lot of responsibility for being in these bad places, and they come to an impasse and they just all spiral down, down, down to the inevitiable tragic (yet not very moving) end. None of the characters evolve in the course of the book. None of them recognize their own flaws and decide to change. They are each driven by pride and stubborness, and you just don’t LIKE any of them! Well, maybe the colonel’s son. He was ok. But he was also the smallest role. Anyway, it’s a pretty lame story. I mean, I’m not sorry I read it, but I wouldn’t really recommend it. Oh, and the stupid cop character can’t stop thinking about wanting to be DEEP INSIDE of Kathy. Ew. That got kind of old. So yeah, probably my least favorite book I’ve read in awhile.

That said, I kind of want to see the movie, because I know that Ben Kingsley plays the colonel, and I could totally see him in this role as I read the book. Even though the colonel is unlikeable, he’s a very powerful character, and I can imagine it being a pretty amazing performance by Kingsley.

Come to think of it, imagining Ben Kingsley as the colonel was pretty much the only redeeming aspect of reading this book.

Final grade: C. Decent writing; interesting Ben Kingsley character; but depressing story about characters you want to slap silly, and too many longings to be deep inside Kathy. Ew.

“Ever wonder if your life would be better with a suspense movie soundtrack? It wouldn’t.” –Susan

I don’t know how this movie got in my queue. It’s a 1977 Robert Altman film starring horror film greats and mousiest women alive Sissy Spacek (Carrie) and Shelley Duvall (The Shining). The movie follows these two through a few days of their pathetic lives like a documentary about functional retards living in society. A third woman, also a functional retard, mills about in the background painting things and gardening. Sissy and Shelley go to work, become roommates, go out for beers, make dinner… all with a horror movie soundtrack for no reason.

About an hour and a half into the movie, something kind of weird happens, but it doesn’t have any drastic effect on the world and things continue to be boring. In the last 10 minutes of the film, the director seems to become so bored with the film himself, that he forgets what he’s doing and reality completely disappears.

A user review on IMDB compares this movie to 2001 and Apocalypse Now. Ok. Keep in mind that people had longer attention spans in the 1970s. They were actively seeking ways to pass their time. They didn’t have a lot of options, no video games, cable TV, internet… it was either watch pretentious experimental films or hit rocks with sticks. They were also on a lot of drugs. If you liked 2001 and Apocalypse Now, but thought they were maybe too fast-paced and might have been better if set in an old folks home in the desert, you’ll love this movie.

“TransAmerica is Transtastic!” –Susan

Felicity Huffman should be nominated for best actor in a leading role and send Heath Ledger and Phillip Seymour Hoffman running home with their Oscar between their legs.

I think the most controversial thing about this movie is the startling new evidence it provides that Lord of the Rings is gay. Well, maybe not the most controversial thing…

“You’re my sunshine!” –Susan

This cheesy picture represents my love for Excederin Migraine. One hour before this picture was taken, I was lying on the couch in darkness pushing my fingers into the sides of my nose and wishing someone would take a drill to my skull. Nothing works better than Excederin Migraine. When I think about Excederin Migraine, I picture us running through a field of yellow flowers, laughing.

For a while I had a prescription drug called The Imitrex that was so expensive I priced it by the pill. The Imitrex only works if you take it “at the first signs of migraine headache.” Because each pill was several hours pay, and because I don’t like to take drugs until I know I have to, I never took the Imitrex soon enough. By the time I did take it, it was too late to work on my really bad headaches and then I felt I couldn’t take any of my other drugs because I didn’t want to over medicate. With the Imitrex, I usually ended up suffering through the natural lifecycle of my migraines. The Imitrex is like a bad boyfriend who never remembers your birthday. Maybe he’ll remember next year… not likely.

I’ve also tried taking Excederin Extra-Strength and Excederin PM. These are both great products that work wonders on standard headaches that come with colds and flus or insomnia. For my migraines, however, they fall flat. The Excederin Extra-Strength also has side effects of shakiness and upset stomache. Excederin Migraine sometimes produces these side effects as well, but they are mild and compared to the headache, well worth it.

Excederin Migraine allows me to get back to my daily activities such as watching reruns of Friends, staring blankly at walls waiting for recruiters to call and offer me jobs, and writing reviews on ChatLive. I LOVE YOU EXCEDERIN MIGRAINE. You’re the best friend that I ever had. I’ve been with you such a long time - you’re my sunshine. And I want you to know that my feelings are true, I really love you. You’re my best friend.

I decided late last year that I was going to have to read this book based on the fact that half of the 700+ reviews on Amazon seem to pan it while the other half seem to love it. The book tries to explore “interesting” questions by looking at things from an economist’s perspective while ignoring conventional wisdom. As an economics book it was a quick read, mildly entertaining in sections, with really no graphs, formulas, or numbers. A lot of the criticism of the book comes from the fact that it’s essentially a puff piece. It felt, to me, like a stretched out version of the schtick that the authors, Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner, do each week in the NY Times Magazine. It’s probably worth checking out from the library (or maybe picking it up as a cheap paperback), but–economically speaking–the $25 I spent on it could have been better utilized elsewhere…

To save you time, or to sway you:

• Schoolteachers and Sumo Wrestlers cheat to help others.
• The KKK was (or wasn’t) brought down by the power of information.
• Your real estate agent is screwing you.
• Drug dealers still live with their Moms because unless you’re at the top of the pyramid scheme it pays about $2.50 an hour and you’ve got a 1/5 chance of being killed in any given year.
• Legalized abortion is (or isn’t) the reason for the recent drop in the crime rate.
• It’s more nature than nurture.
• Naming your kid Shaqwandanita of Zuul isn’t really going to have much of an effect.