“My, what lovely whores you have. Are they new?” –Susan
This isn’t even a memoir! Lying bags of crap. It’s a fiction novel by an American man. I haven’t decided if he’s an ignorant perv or if he’s just subtle. I’m leaning towards ignorant perv (see photo).
There’s no way of telling how accurate this account is regarding the lives of Geisha. I recommend picking up an actual memoir instead of going to this movie. Although I haven’t read it, the author is at least qualified.
Giving Arthur-san the benefit of the doubt, meaning assuming that he has spent hours upon hours hanging out informally with various Geisha and getting them to open up over coffee and french fries and talk about themselves in a way contradictory to their very culture, he at least manages to capture a sense of the manufactured world of women that the Geisha live in. The madame and whore dynamic of the brothel. The competitiveness and psychological warfare between whores. The one good thing I will say about this movie is that at the end, you don’t know how to feel. Are you happy that the whore has a John? Are you sad that the whore has a John? What about the little whore in training? Do you share her excitement at the prospect of being a Geisha someday? It’s hard to say.
I, for one, don’t know if I’d want to be a whore. I mean, on the one hand, you get to sit around looking pretty all day and going to the theater, but on the other your virginity goes to the highest old pervy bidder. It’s a trade off. But if you are going to be a whore anyway, the Geisha variety is the most attractive way to go. I would definitely choose Geisha over Las Vegas Escort.
The second letter. Sent not long after the Campbell’s letter and resulting in a response along the lines of “we don’t actually know what the 2000 parts are… but clearly our campaign is working since you thought about it. Here’s a coupon for free soap.”
The first letter. Sent to Campbell’s Soup when the Aliens were in about eighth grade. I’m still looking for it in my old boxes so I can post the actual text. Campbell’s replied, sending several coupons for free cans of soup. 
A higher power provides you with a series of uppers and downers to help you control your liquids problem. Occasionally it throws in a fireball or an atom bomb. The fireballs help you win at BINGO. Also, dinosaurs will come and hang out if you create lakes deep enough for them to swim around in. But watch out! Four malicious flying super demons are out to get you! Don’t count on the higher power to help you out, it doesn’t take sides between good and evil, so your enemies are free to spit things at you in passing which mess up the landscape and lead to terrible earthquakes. If you can’t control your liquids, your friend who fell in the drain will drown! But don’t lose hope, there’s a rainbow above you. 